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    McDonald’s Apple Pie Tree! If, to this day, you can’t buy an apple pie from McDonald’s because you know it must be filled with the corn syrup-sweetened meat bits of Lucifer’s victims, then you must have come face to terrifying face with the dark-sided Apple Pie Tree! The McDonald’s Apple Pie Tree was an anthropomorphized

    McDonald’s Apple Pie Tree!

    If, to this day, you can’t buy an apple pie from McDonald’s because you know it must be filled with the corn syrup-sweetened meat bits of Lucifer’s victims, then you must have come face to terrifying face with the dark-sided Apple Pie Tree! The McDonald’s Apple Pie Tree was an anthropomorphized tree from the Ninth Circle’s most tainted orchard and was where were its apple pies came from. So yeah, if you ever bit into a McDonald’s apple pie before, then your soul belongs to the McApple Pie Tree!

    In the early 70s, McDonald’s created McDonaldland, which was a “magical place” where Ronald McDonald was from and was also home to the Fry Guys and Girls, the Filet-O-Fish Lake, and the terrifying McDonald’s Apple Pie Tree. You’ve heard of The Giving Tree. Well, McDonald’s delivered The Taking YOUR SOUL Tree. While everybody’s mom let them know that money doesn’t grow on trees, McDonald’s told the kids that its apple pies did. The Apple Pie Trees made an appearance during a commercial for McDonaldland, which could also double as an anti-LSD PSA:

    The Apple Pie Tree also terrorized the children’s PlayPlace areas of many McDonald’s. It’s now a rare sighting to see one at a McDonald’s, and the McDonald’s Wiki claims it’s because children had nightmares about them. This is probably a joke…. or is it?!!!!!!

    Many of these were removed from McDonaldland playplaces after children would wake up crying, saying that they had seen the Apple Pie Tree in their dreams, telling them eldritch secrets.

    You can sometimes find a McDonald’s Apple Tree on eBay, or at flea markets, or given away on the side of the road by a certain evil clown (see: Ronald McDonald) who tells you that it’s not at-all-cursed or dark-sided. This man bought one for “dirt cheap.” Even if he paid for it with an actual pile of dirt, it would still be too much. I mean, imagine bringing this cursed idol into your house!?

    Although, maybe I should put one of those things in my kitchen. Because then every time I walked in just to “see what’s in the fridge,” I’d spot that trunk of terror, immediately shit myself, and then run off to the bathroom. And strangely enough, that many people’s reaction to eating a McDonald’s apple pie too.

    Pic: McDonald’s Wiki

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